There are many faults and sufferings caused by attachment.
After recognising the disadvantages and faults of attachment,
we will recognise that to generate real happiness, there are
better ways of thinking. There are other ways to look for
happiness, so we try to train the mind in those other ways of
thinking, and of looking for happiness. This is what one should
do.
Out of attachment and affection, it is important to have more
affection and love than attachment. If we have more affection
and love than attachment, then we will also experience less
suffering, such as the suffering of separation. For example, if
your girlfriend leaves you and goes off with somebody else
who is more handsome, has more qualities and so forth,
instead of experiencing suffering, you will be happy!
Similarly, a mother will have more love then attachment
towards her son. When the son finds a nice and beautiful
girlfriend, the mother may feel jealous but for the most part she
will be happy for the son. The more beautiful the girlfriend, the
more happy the mother will be.
And the other way around – a father will have more love and
affection then attachment for his daughter. If the daughter finds
a handsome boyfriend, the richer and more handsome the
boyfriend, the happier the father will be for his daughter. Of
course, it is possible that he also will be a little jealous of the
boyfriend!
If we can have more affection and love for the other person than
attachment, our relationship with that person will be better
and more stable. Many people have a relationship based
initially on attachment, and after some time they may break up.
But their attitude towards each other may have changed, and
they may now regard each other with affection and love, rather
than with attachment. So, actually, their relationship has
become much better than before, when it was based on
attachment. This is a very common experience.
^true that!
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